Maintaining a sense of inner calm can sometimes feel like an impossible challenge. We’re bombarded with stressors from all directions – the 24/7 news cycle, the never-ending ping of notifications on our devices, and the pressures of work and family life. Anxiety and chronic stress have become all too common. But here’s the good news: cultivating calmness is a skill that can be learned and strengthened, just like building muscle at the gym.
Psychology research has identified some of the essential habits and practices of people who stay grounded and centered no matter what life throws at them. By incorporating these science-backed strategies into your daily routine, you, too, can train your mind to find serenity amid life’s storms. While everyone’s path to calmness is unique, these ten habits provide a solid foundation upon which to build.
1. They Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness has become a buzzword in recent years – but don’t dismiss it as just another fad. Focusing one’s attention on the moment without passing judgment is one of the most powerful tools for reducing anxiety and stress.
Incredibly calm people make mindfulness a regular habit, whether through formal meditation sessions or simply taking a few mindful breaths throughout the day. By training their minds to stay anchored in the here and now, they can keep anxious thoughts about the future or regrets about the past at bay.
2. They Cultivate Gratitude
When stressed, it’s easy to get trapped in a negative thought loop, ruminating on everything going wrong. Calm individuals have a potent antidote: gratitude.
By intentionally focusing on the good things in their lives – even during difficult times – they shift their minds away from worry and toward appreciating what they have. Keeping a gratitude journal, sharing appreciation with loved ones, or simply taking a moment to internally say “thank you” are all habits that incredibly calm people tend to practice.
3. They Engage in Regular Physical Activity
Think of exercise as meditation in motion. When we engage in physical activity, we give our minds a much-needed break from the chatter of anxious thoughts. At the same time, we release feel-good endorphins that boost mood and promote relaxation.
Calm people make exercise a non-negotiable part of their routines, whether a morning jog, an after-work yoga class, or a lunchtime stroll around the block. By moving their bodies regularly, they give stress a healthy outlet.
4. They Prioritize Quality Sleep
Skimping on sleep is a surefire recipe for stress and emotional reactivity. When we don’t get enough sleep, our minds and bodies can’t function at their best – leaving us more vulnerable to anxiety and negative moods.
People with calm dispositions treat sleep as sacred. They aim for 7-9 hours per night and practice good sleep hygiene, like maintaining a regular sleep schedule, avoiding screens before bed, and creating a soothing sleep environment. Well-rested, they’re better equipped to handle whatever challenges come their way.
5. They Practice Deep Breathing
The next time you feel frazzled, try this: take a slow, deep breath from your diaphragm. Pause. Exhale completely. Repeat a few more times. Notice how your body begins to relax and your mind feels a bit clearer.
Deep breathing is like a secret weapon against stress—and calm people use it regularly. By consciously slowing down the breath and fully oxygenating the body, they tap into the parasympathetic nervous system’s “relaxation response.
6. They Limit Digital Consumption
Our digital devices are double-edged swords: on one hand, they connect us to a world of information and social connection. On the other hand, constantly plugging in can leave us feeling frazzled, distracted, and anxious.
Serene individuals are intentional about their technology use. They set boundaries around when and how they engage with screens – for instance, keeping phones out of the bedroom or designating device-free hours. They also make time for tech-free activities, like meeting a friend for coffee or reading a book.
7. They Cultivate Supportive Relationships
No one can navigate life’s ups and downs alone. A strong support system is crucial for maintaining emotional equilibrium and resilience under stress.
Incredibly calm people prioritize nurturing their relationships. They connect with friends and family, especially when life gets hectic. They’re also not afraid to seek support and advice when needed, knowing that leaning on others is a sign of strength, not weakness.
8. They Practice Self-Compassion
Many of us are experts at extending compassion to others – but we can be downright ruthless when it comes to ourselves. We bash ourselves for our mistakes, berate ourselves for not being “good enough,” and generally hold ourselves to impossibly high standards.
People with genuinely calm demeanors are more forgiving. When they fall short or face struggles, they treat themselves with the same kindness and understanding they’d offer a close friend. By practicing self-compassion, they avoid getting swept up in negative self-talk and can rebound from setbacks more quickly.
9. They Engage in Purposeful Activities
When stressed, it’s tempting to distract ourselves with mindless activities or numbing behaviors. But these ultimately leave us feeling depleted and on edge.
Calm individuals know that true relaxation comes from engaging in pursuits that light them up from the inside. They make time for hobbies, creative projects, volunteering, or anything else that provides a sense of meaning and fulfillment. By filling their lives with purpose, they become better equipped to handle life’s stressors.
10. They Practice Cognitive Reframing
Stress isn’t just the result of external pressures – it’s also a product of the stories we tell ourselves. When we interpret a situation as a crisis or catastrophe, our stress levels skyrocket.
Incredibly calm people have a knack for seeing things from different angles. When faced with a challenge or obstacle, they ask themselves, “Is there another way to look at this? What can I learn here?” By practicing this cognitive reframing, they avoid getting locked into stress-inducing thought patterns.
Case Study: Glen’s Journey to Calmness
Glen, a busy accountant, had always struggled with stress and anxiety. His demanding job, coupled with his perfectionist tendencies, left him feeling constantly on edge. He snapped at his family, lost sleep, and felt like drowning in a sea of worries.
Desperate for a change, Glen started exploring the habits of calm people. He began incorporating mindfulness into his daily routine, taking a few minutes each morning to focus on his breathing and grounding himself in the present moment. He also started keeping a gratitude journal, jotting down a few things he was thankful for each night before bed.
Glen committed to regular exercise, joining a lunchtime yoga class at his office gym. The combination of physical movement and deep breathing helped him release tension and approach his work with a clearer mind. He also set boundaries around technology use, turning off notifications on his phone and designating device-free hours in the evenings.
As Glen continued to practice these habits, he noticed a profound shift. While his job was still challenging, he approached stressors with improved stability. He was able to communicate more calmly with his colleagues and family, and he felt a renewed sense of purpose and fulfillment. By embracing the habits of calm people, Glen discovered an inner serenity he never knew was possible.
Key Takeaways
- Cultivating calmness is a learnable skill that can be strengthened through practice.
- Mindfulness, focusing on the present moment without judgment, is a powerful tool for reducing anxiety and stress.
- Practicing gratitude by focusing on the good things in life can shift the mind away from worry and toward appreciation.
- Regular physical activity provides a healthy outlet for stress and promotes relaxation.
- Prioritizing quality sleep and practicing good sleep hygiene are essential for managing stress and emotional reactivity.
- Deep breathing techniques can activate the body’s relaxation response and reduce stress.
- Setting boundaries around technology use and engaging in tech-free activities can help prevent digital consumption from contributing to anxiety.
- Maintaining emotional equilibrium is crucial to nurturing supportive relationships and reaching out for help when needed.
- Practicing self-compassion and treating oneself with kindness can help one rebound from setbacks and avoid negative self-talk.
- Engaging in purposeful activities that provide a sense of meaning and fulfillment can help manage life’s stressors.
- Cognitive reframing, the practice of looking at situations from different perspectives, can help prevent stress-inducing thought patterns.
Conclusion
Cultivating calmness takes practice and commitment. It’s not about eliminating stress altogether but about training ourselves to navigate it more skillfully. By incorporating these science-backed habits into your own life, little by little, you, too, can develop the same unshakable serenity as incredibly calm people. Remember, every small step counts. Serenity is a skill—and with practice, it’s available to all of us.