Change is inevitable. Seasons change, technology advances, and relationships evolve. As the ancient Greek philosopher Heraclitus said, “The only thing constant is change.”
Rather than avoiding change, we must learn to embrace it. Only by embracing change can we hope to grow, improve, and transform our lives positively. This article provides actionable strategies for overcoming resistance to change to become more flexible, resilient, and ultimately unrecognizable to your former self.
Understanding Change
Before exploring how to embrace change, let’s build a working definition. Personal change refers to any transition, evolution, upheaval, or transformation in one’s normal state that requires adjustment emotionally, physically, spiritually, or psychologically. While the outset of change often feels uncomfortable or complex, the outcome generally brings positive growth.
There are two major categories of personal change:
- Voluntary: Intentionally choosing to change careers, get married, relocate, or adopt healthier habits.
- Involuntary: Getting laid off from a job, experiencing the death of a loved one, major illness, accidents, or global events.
Change can also have positive or negative associations depending on context and your perspective. However, with the right outlook and strategies, even changes that start as feeling negative can result in growth.
Common emotions people experience in the face of change include fear, anxiety, sadness, shock, denial, or anger. It’s important to note these feelings are entirely normal. The tips below will help you better manage them.
The Psychological Impact
Humans are wired to prefer certainty and stability. Dramatic change can threaten that, triggering our natural fight-or-flight response. As a result, change often catalyzes an emotional rollercoaster. Understanding the psychological stages of change can help you navigate them effectively:
- Shock: Initial paralysis at the change.
- Denial: Downplaying the impact, hoping things will go “back to normal.”
- Frustration: Irritability sets in as attempting to adapt.
- Depression: Increased hopelessness and sadness.
- Experiment: Trying new ways to navigate change.
- Decision: Choosing a course of action post-change.
- Integration: Adjusting to the new normal.
Throughout these emotional phases, be patient with yourself. Embrace coping strategies like journaling, counseling, and connecting with others who understand exactly what you’re going through.
7 Steps To Move From Resisting Change to Embracing It
1. Acknowledgment
The first step is accepting change as an inevitable part of life. Avoidance or denial will only prolong the pain. By acknowledging the change and its emotional impact, you can begin adapting. Benefits of acknowledgment include reduced stress, transparent decision-making, and forward momentum.
For example, after 20 years at your job, you get laid off when the company is acquired. Acknowledge that while the change feels jarring (and frankly unfair), good can eventually come if you approach things positively.
2. Understand Your Resistance
Next, reflect on what exactly you are resisting related to the change. Are you grieving the end of how things used to be? Are you anxious about the unknown future? Do you feel powerless in the decision-making?
Common reasons people resist change include:
- Fear of the unknown
- Disrupting comfort zones
- Feeling excluded from decisions
- Loss of control
- Too much change at once
3. Adopt a Growth Mindset
The concept of a “fixed” versus “growth” mindset comes from psychologist Carol Dweck’s research. People with a fixed mindset believe personality, intelligence, and talents are unmalleable. Consequently, they view change as a threat. However, those with a growth mindset believe talents and abilities can be developed over time. They tend to embrace change and view it as an opportunity for self-improvement.
During change, consciously cultivate this growth mentality. Remind yourself that you have all the tools within to evolve. It won’t happen overnight, but you will adapt over time with consistent effort. Meet mini-milestones to stay motivated.
4. Set Realistic Goals
Breaking significant changes down into achievable goals is critical for momentum. You’ll get overwhelmed and frustrated if expectations are too lofty from the outset. Set SMART goals:
- Specific
- Measurable
- Achievable
- Relevant
- Timely
Reassess and modify goals as circumstances evolve. Goal achievement amidst change, even small ones, fuels motivation to keep adapting.
5. Seek Support
Don’t underestimate the power of your support system. Other people serve as mirrors reflecting how far you’ve come. Support groups introduce you to those undergoing similar changes, instantly validating your experiences—friends, and family who build you up act as essential cheerleaders. Enlist your personal “Change Team” to guide you.
6. Take Action
While acknowledging emotions around change is essential, don’t get stuck there. Taking small actions builds courage and momentum. Break the cycle of procrastination and start experimenting with new directions enabled by the change. Action alleviates anxiety and puts you back in the driver’s seat.
7. Evaluate and Adjust
Change rarely unfolds in a straight line. Expect course corrections and resets along the way. Routinely examine what is working well and what could be improved. Be flexible; growth depends more on progress than perfection. Maintain this growth mentality as you iterate strategies.
Case Study: John’s Transformation Story
John was let go from his corporate job after 15 years when the company was restructured. Instead of feeling like a victim, he saw a potential opportunity, even though transitioning to something new after so long felt daunting.
Here’s how John actively worked through the seven steps over several months:
- Acknowledgment: John gave himself space to process the grief and related emotions. Journaling provided an emotional release.
- Understand Resistance: He understood his discomfort came from losing his daily work relationships and fearing financial pressures. Understanding the drivers enabled him to address them proactively.
- Growth Mindset: John viewed this job loss as a chance to explore fulfilling work options he’d been too complacent to pursue. He could reinvent himself at midlife.
- Set Goals: Rather than jump to a new role, he set a SMART goal to identify three viable new career directions through informational interviews. This felt manageable amidst the uncertainty.
- Seek Support: John joined networking groups to connect with others navigating career changes. They became trusted advisors and accountability partners.
- Take Action: He began scheduling informational interviews and work shadow days – small steps outside his comfort zone toward new horizons.
- Evaluate & Adjust: John would tap his support group to troubleshoot and keep the energy high when progress stalled. After several iterations, a rewarding new career direction emerged through a chance encounter – proof embracing change opens new, often unexpected doors,
Key Takeaways
- Change is inevitable, so acceptance and adaptation serve you better than resistance.
- Allow yourself to feel a range of emotions amidst change before attempting to “solve it.”
- Break more considerable changes into smaller SMART goals that build momentum.
- Enlist supporters to validate your experiences and calibrate your progress.
- Flexibility and resilience are lifelines when navigating change.
Conclusion
As we’ve explored, change brings growing pains, but resisting it only prolongs the discomfort. View change through an opportunistic lens. Much like the caterpillar dissolving entirely within the cocoon before emerging transformed as a butterfly, dissolve your resistance and undergo metamorphoses, unlocking new levels of potential. By embracing change courageously, rather than clinging to what no longer serves you, you set the stage for personal growth and life transformation.