Life has a peculiar way of surprising us. One moment, everything seems to go as planned, while the next moment, an unexpected change hits us from left field. It is understandable to feel disappointed or frustrated when faced with difficult situations that life throws at us. However, by understanding a few inevitable complex rules of life, we can develop resilience and adaptive capacities notget by and thrive beautifully.
This article covers ten such undeniable rules about living and strategies to embrace them for personal growth. We can lead significant and fulfilling lives by using these rules as a mental framework guiding our thoughts and actions. Read on as we dive into each one!
1. Change Is Inevitable
The only constant in life is change. Sometimes, changes happen voluntarily as we grow and evolve – we may change jobs, homes, interests, or beliefs. Other times, change feels forced upon us suddenly, like an unwelcome guest. Whether voluntary or not, expecting permanence is unrealistic, and being rigid comes at a psychological cost to wellbeing.
For example, Maria trained hard for over four years to make it to the Olympics as a swimmer. Unfortunately, a week before the event, she has an accident and fractures her arm. Her dream of competing is instantly shattered. Though deeply disappointed, she understands change is inevitable, works hard on recovery, and is determined to treat this as a detour rather than a dead end in her athletic journey.
2. Failure Is a Part of Success
Failure tends to have strongly negative connotations, and many dread the very prospect of it. However, failure is simply the temporary difference between expected and actual outcomes. Failing causes no lasting harm and is the stepping stone to bridging the gap between current reality and ambitions. In fact, by failing often and fast with small, low stake lessons, we accelerate learning before taking the giant leaps.
For example, 12 publishers rejected J.K. Rowling’s first Harry Potter manuscript before finally getting her break. Fifteen failed attempts preceded Thomas Edison’s successful invention of the light bulb. The most significant difference between those who succeed and those who don’t is persistence through failure until ambitions are finally met.
3. No One Is Perfect
Chasing perfection is an exercise in futility that causes constant anguish. Standards of perfection vary wildly across people and contexts. What’s seen as perfection also keeps changing fluidly across periods and cultures. This makes perfection a mythical moving target that is impossible to hit reliably. People who seem to achieve perfection have likely redefined the yardsticks to make it possible or tailored environments to suit strengths.
Example: A straight-A student used to academic success goes through intense turmoil when she gets a B grade for the first time. She has defined self-worth too rigidly through the lens of perfect marks. She can rediscover peace by broadening her definition of excellence and connecting with other facets of identity.
4. Life Isn’t Fair
Hard work, virtue, or being in the right do not automatically ensure fair rewards. Life’s circumstances and events can be beyond individual control, regardless of merit. A major health crisis, natural disaster, or freak accident can unfairly destroy years of labor. The asymmetry between inputs and outcomes highlights life’s fundamental injustice.
Example: A wrongfully convicted man spends 20 years in prison before new DNA evidence finally proves his innocence. Though eventually released and compensated, no consolation can recover the lost decades of prime life due to an incorrect verdict.
5. Not Everything Is Within Our Control
Trying to control everything inevitably leads to frustration and misery. As much as we might wish, many aspects of life cannot be bent fully to our will due to their inherent randomness or others’ free agency. The illusion of total control stems from the ego’s fantasy rather than reality’s feasibility. Events unfold based on complex systemic interactions between choice, chance, and destiny.
Example: A single father raises his children with utmost love, care, and wisdom – only to find one son later engages in substance abuse despite the father’s best efforts. Even the most diligent parenting cannot control life’s influences beyond the home.
6. Time Waits for No One
Each moment that passes can never return. Despite knowing this intellectually, we routinely postpone living fully while fantasizing about the magical day all dreams will somehow come true together someday. Meanwhile, turning points fade, people pass on, and potential slowly extinguishes – until one day, time itself runs out. Even our next breath isn’t guaranteed, as the river of time flows regardless of plans.
Example: Penny quit her monotonous job with dreams of finally pursuing her passion for pottery full time – just as soon as her ceramic website got running, loans were repaid, and kids’ college funds topped up. She could never muster enough courage in the ‘right’ moment – until the shocking news of cancer left her with just months to live and mountains of regret.
7. Everyone You Love Will Eventually Leave
Loss inevitably accompanies love because everything arises and passes. No relationship lasts forever on the earthly plane of existence. Even soulmates part ways eventually as death rockets each being onto its unique spiritual trajectory beyond the body. By being thoroughly aware of love’s temporariness from the very start, we spare ourselves from shock down the line.
For example, Sophia fights with her sister Amy over differing lifestyle choices that leave both sisters angry and estranged. A week later, Amy unexpectedly dies in a car crash before the conflict can be resolved, leaving Sophia heartbroken she can no longer mend fences or create new memories with Amy.
8. Hard Work Doesn’t Always Guarantee Success
Working tirelessly is admirable but insufficient to guarantee results since external variables drive outcomes substantially. Market needs, timing, regulations, other players, and sheer luck play decisive roles, too, that may override purely perspiration factors. Hard work significantly raises the probability of success without any doubt, but it cannot control all causes single-handedly.
Example: An ethical organic farmer works backbreaking hours on his land but suffers significant losses due to subsidized chemicals dumped cheaply by industrial giants dominating policymaking. If success were purely the result of focused solo and hard work, such external distortion of level playing fields would not happen.
9. Happiness Is a Choice and Responsibility
Lasting happiness or suffering originates not in external events but in one’s internal processes. No person or situation itself creates sadness or joy – instead, it emerges from how stimuli get mentally interpreted and translated into personalized meanings. Taking charge of these translations puts us in the driver’s seat of our emotional states.
Example: Identical traffic triggers vastly different reactions in people – anger, acceptance, amusement, or adventure depending on mental frameworks applied to the same external sensory input. Happiness rests not in having ‘perfect’ traffic but in perfecting the lens through which we perceive reality.
10. You Are the Author of Your Life
While circumstances influence parts of life’s journey that vary wildly across people, the paramount power still rests within each individual. Everyone can reflect, choose attitudes, determine responses, and assign meaning. This personal power of conscious reaction makes us all self-made individuals by our own hands.
Example: Identical traumatic events affected Helen and Betty differently due to their divergent inner resilience. While bitter Betty recurrently blamed the world, resilient Helen focused on recovering wellness and contributing solutions passionately. Their contrasting mindsets and responses steered them down distinct life trajectories – despite both facing the same initial stimulus.
Key Takeaways
- Change inevitably keeps happening, and the resilient person adapts swiftly rather than resisting reality.
- Failure offers pivotal feedback to tweak efforts till success is achieved.
- Perfection is an unrealistic man-made myth; self-acceptance and flexibility breed sustainable excellence.
- Since external fairness is unreliable, internally grounded values within our control let us command destiny.
- Channeling energies toward controllable elements and radical acceptance of inherent randomness prevent anguish.
- Time is the most valuable asset possible; now is the only time to start living fully.
- Everyone eventually moves in/out of life on unique timelines; savor each moment together rather than take presence for granted.
- Due to other complex determining factors, hard work substantially raises the probability of success without fully guaranteeing it.
- Happiness emerges not from having perfect external conditions but from perfecting our mental meanings and lenses applied to reality.
- Everyone is the author of their unique life story; regardless of the context, our power of choice writes the script.
Conclusion
By incorporating life’s ten complex rules as guiding principles for thoughts and actions, we build the resilience to tackle challenges and follow dreams courageously until the desired destination is reached. The rules teach pragmatic realism balanced beautifully with determined idealism. Master these, and you master life beautifully.